Sunday, September 30, 2001 Hello. I am extremely bored. My head hurts. I just got done watching the movie Some Like It Hot. It's an old movie made in like the 50's or something, but it's set in the twenties. It has Marylin Monroe in it, and it's a pretty good movie. These two guys witnessed a "rub out" of mob guys and so they're running away. They're musicians and there's a girls-only band going to Florida, so they dress up like girls and join the band. The one guy starts to like Marylin's character, Sugar, and so when they get to Florida, he dresses up like a millionare and lies to her and all this stuff. You know, what most guys would do in that situation. *smiles sarcastically* Anyway, it's a really funny movie and everything turns out alright in the end. I took a four hour nap today. I was majorly tired in church today. My mind kept drifting off. I kinda like days like that because for the two or three hours I'm there at church, I think of so much stuff, usually stories or stuff I want to do, so that's pretty cool. Lol, I know I should be paying attention, and I do...but then my mind drifts off again. =) Man, I hate Sunday evenings. There's nothing to do. You just sit around the house. Nothing's on TV. Every good store closes early. You're too tired to invite friends over and what would you do with them anyway? No one gets online all day until later at night. My brother is always on the phone for five straight hours, so I can't call anyone. I think he was on the phone the whole time I was asleep today. Yeah, I'm not sure what's up with him and Amber. They broke up last month, but I think they got back together. He calls her all the time and she's always IMing me and telling me to tell him to call her, etc. The people at the youth center have to keep a special eye out for them because of the no PDA (public display of affection) rule. They'll sit upstairs on the couch, slouch down so you can't see their head through the window, and hold hands uder a pillow. So retarded. =P Hey, wanna know what the youth center looks like? Even if you don't, I'm going to tell you because I'm very bored and I feel like writing about it. Ok. If you're coming down off the hill (which most people do), the youth center is on the left. You'll see the church (Pleasant Valley Assembly of God) first, on the corner to your right, across from a garage. They have a sign outside which usually has some quote on it. Then, after you cross the extremely busy street, you'll continue past the rest of the church, past an alley, past a crack house (lol) and then you'll see a parkinglot. Across the parkinglot is the youth center building. It's white and has two blue doors on the far right. When parents drop their kids off, they usually pull into the alley and drive up to the doors and let them out there. On the right side of the doors is a ramp. On the left, steps. There's blue railing on this ramp/step/porch thing and it's fun to sit on. =) The left blue door is the one that we use to go in and out, so you pull it open to go in. Immediately you'll see a basketball court. There's carpet, but it's the kind that you can play basketball on. To your right is the "sign-in" table where, if you're new, someone will make a membership card for you and you'll have to sign your name, card number, and what time you came. If you've been there before, you hand them your card and sign in. If you look to your left, you'll see a wall...and probably a folded-up ping-pong table that no one really plays on. If you keep walking, you'll see to your right two van seats. Why are there van seats in the youth center? Beats me, but they're fun to sit on. :) If you keep going, on your right there's a sound systeml, speakers, a table, a snack machine, a pop bottle machine, and a pop can machine. Now you should be looking straight ahead into the kitchen. There's a nice, eye-level window there with a counter where we put your food or drink when you buy something. Look to your left and you'll see the metal container thingie we put the basketballs and soccer balls in. You'll also see two doors and one doorway with no door. The first door goes to a closet where there is a freezer where we keep the ice. The doorway with no door leads to the steps that go upstairs to the TV room, which is right above the kitchen. (We'll get to the upstairs later) The second door goes to the kitchen. Let's go inside. When you first open up the kitchen door, it swings in and you worry that you might hit someone. Yes, that has happened before. Look ahead but slightly to the right and you'll find youself looking at the soda machine against the wall that hardly ever works. Behind that is a huge shelf where we keep the plates, napkins, spoons, forks, and various sized cups. Then, where that wall meets the other wall, is the stove. It's a massive stove and, frankly, it scares me. That'll be the day that I put a pizza in there myself! Lol. Anyway, to the right of the stove is the sink, again, massive. It comes up to my chest almost and is as deep as my knees. (Ok, I might be exaggerating) To the right of the sink is a counter and after that is the refrigerator where we keep cans of pop nice and cold for the kiddies. =) Then, where that wall meets the left wall, is a door that leads out into the alley. This is how Toni and Tonia sneak away to Dairy Queen w/o anyone finding out (see, after you sign in, you can't leave). Next to that, the microwave, and then a counter. Above and below the counter are shelves. Tons of them, all leading over to the counter that's on the other side of the window. Yes, this counter makes a nice seat. =) The cash register is on the left end of this counter and there's a whole bunch of crap pushed up under the window's counter and this counter. See, the bottom of the window is maybe six inches above the top of this "seat" counter. Anyway, under this "seat" counter is a bunch of other stuff, not really sure what's all there. Then, at the end of the counter is the new refrigerator that doesn't have anything in it yet. Last, but not least, is the island in the middle of the kitchen. All the pots and pans are on the bottom of the island and in the drawers are spoons and stuff. Ok, let's walk out of the kitchen and go upstairs. The stairs are pretty steep, so watch your step. There's a nice red, wooden handrail on each side, but I'm not sure if I trust it. Ok, as we near the top, you will notice a wall on your left that doesn't go the whole way to the ceiling. That little wall becomes waist height at the very top. There are two doors that lead to storage spaces on the left, on either side of the furnace thing. The space between the waist high wall and the furnace is perfect for Chris and Toni to hide and make out. That's why we need a security guard upstairs. Anyway, on the right is the door to the TV room. Go inside and you'll be looking at the TV. There's an overstuffed leather chair in front of the TV and a bench on either side of the TV. Turn to the left and you'll see three huge windows, each with a handrail going across. A bench is infront of the middle window and there's a leather couch in front of each other the end ones. A really uncomfortable chair is usually somewhere in the room, too. All the furniture is black. The walls are blue. The handrails and trim are red. There's a white, black and red paper strip trim thing going across the middle of the walls. Go and look out one of the windows and you'll have a great view of the mayhem downstairs. =) Now, let's walk downstairs and I'll show you where the bathrooms are. You turn right at the end of the steps, walk past the closet door and wala. The wall is set back a little and there are two doors. One on the far left and one on the far right. The right one is the girls and the left is the guys. In between the doors is the foozball thing and when you're done going to the bathroom I'll play a game with you and beat your pants off. I am the foozball queen! Lol. Well, that's the youth center. Wow. I am still bored. 8:51 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Saturday, September 29, 2001 I just got back from my job as a server @ some banquet. =P My feet are totally killing me. The banquet was a huge reunion covering seval classes from like the forties and fifties. Yes, so there were a bunch of old people there. A lot of them were really nice. =) The lady I worked with wasn't, though. She kept acting like I was in her way when I was just trying to help. She kept giving me really odd jobs to do and then someone else would tell me to help her, but she kept telling me to do something else. I hadn't eaten all day and I thought that I was going to pass out. My feet were throbbing. They finally fed us and I had to put up with second-grade conversation with the other weirdos we worked with. Some of the boys that had been nice to me earlier started acting like jerks...hmm. Oh well. After that, we had to go gather plates. Ew. Have you ever had to gather 200 plates before? Half of the people hardly ate anything at all, so you're sticking your hands in mashed potatoes and stuff. =P Gross. Well, while I'm waiting for Mike and Becka to get on, I'm talking to Steve-O. He's this guy that goes to GCS. He's cool. We're talking about how we both want to be bums! Yeah! Bums rule! 10:48 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Thursday, September 27, 2001 Hey, what do you think about the count down to Halloween? I tried to put Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas up, but I guess you can't have more than one, so I'll just add them after the previous holiday. Hope you enjoy! =) 1:34 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Yay! I got to talk to Mike again. =) We were both saying how it's weird not being able to type stuff like "lol" or ":)" and stuff like that, and it is. You know you've taked online for too much when instead of laughing, you burst out, "HA HA! L O L!" *shakes head* Oh my gosh, today I woke up at like 9:00 to the phone ringing. It was my aunt and she had me call my uncle and tell him this and that and then she called back again to see if I had gotten ahold of him. By then I was pretty much awake, so I curled up in my bedspread on the couch and watched MTV. While I was watching, a U2 video came on where they had pictures of New York as the video part. They showed this one clip of this young fireman, covered in dust, walking away just like he couldn't believe what was happening. I might have been a little too tired when I watched it, because I just started crying. They kept showing more pictures of the firemen and stuff coming out covered in dust, along with other people and I just kept crying. Then, right after that, I dried my tears and thought I should get some sleep, when the Michelle Branch video came on. I wanted to watch it because I had never actually seen what happened in the end. If you haven't seen it, here's what happens in the video: Michelle lives in an apartment with this huge window on one side. She obviously likes the guy who lives in the apartment just across the street with huge windows because she keeps spying on him and taking pictures of him and putting them up on her wall. Anyway, he has a party and she and her band play there and they keep checking each other out and stuff. Then, near the end of the song, she goes to spy on him and she sees him leaving his building. She grabs her jacket and runs downstairs to meet him, but he's not there. So, she trudges back up the steps and there he is. In her apartment. Smiling. Yes, I cried for this video, too. It was just a perfect ending and I was so happy that they finally got together....*sniffs* Like I said, I was REALLY tired. Man, I do not feel well. My head kinda feels funky and my stomach hurts. Blah. Ack, my throat is irritated. Kinda scratchy. =P 12:14 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Wednesday, September 26, 2001 Well, the virus is gone. =) A really nice guy from PC Works came over to our house and fixed it. And by 'nice' I mean "NYCE", lol. Ok, lemme explain what "nyce" is to me: First off, I don't call guys "hot". That is an awful description. (What is hot???) Anway, "nyce" is a huge compliment coming from me. That means that I either think you look sharp (nicely dressed, nice hair), you have a great sense of humor (you can make me laugh), you're a really nice guy, you smell REALLY good, or all of the above. That's what "nyce" is to me. Notice how "cute", "sexy", or "hot" wasn't even listed? Ugh, I need to stop this. I keep going off on tangets about looks. I'm sorry, but this is just something that's been on my mind a lot lately and I don't know why, so excuse me as I vent. =) I got my third web page completely done. It's called Fairy Tale and has (what I consider) a GREAT layout. You should check it out and sign my guestbook! Mike called me this morning. =) I'm so glad that I couldn't sleep and got up or else I would have missed him. I wanted to call him tonight, but it was too late. I'm not sure how late he's allowed to get calls and I didn't want to upset anyone. But, man, I REALLY wanted to talk to him. Not about anything, just to hear his voice. ^_^ Our stupid neighbors are burning something and it really stinks. =P Ok, it is FREEZING COLD HERE! I am typing so slow it's unbelievable. I think one of my fingers just fell off. Ow. I guess I should go to bed early tonight. (LOL!!! It's 1:20 AM! That's early for me!) I want to get up around ten or eleven tomorrow in case Mike calls again. =) Yay. I can't wait. ^_^ 1:24 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Tuesday, September 25, 2001 Oh my. Did I ever mess up the template! Lol. Ok, I think I have it fixed now. Oh yeah, and I got a link to the archives up, but they're going to take some work! I have to go fix the template on that. =P 12:03 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Monday, September 24, 2001 Oh my word. Remember how I said that I was having problems with my computer and stuff? Well, I discovereda virus. Yep. It's called Happy Time. It's a low risk virus, but it's still annoying. It changes the wallpaper and keep attaching itself to HTML documents (like in Front Page and such). Also, when the month and day add up to 13, it goes through your computer and tries to delete .exe and .dll files. It will also make Untitled.htm and Help.vbs files, which I have noticed on my computer. It counts how many times it makes a file and when that adds up to 336, it will send emails to everyone in your address book on Microsoft Outlook with an attachment called Untitled.htm. It's a good thing I don't use Microsoft Outlook. =) So it wasn't my brother or sister messing up the computer after all. =P Stupid virus. I tried to get rid of it all last night (I was up until 4 AM) but nothing worked. Then my dad tried tonight and he couldn't get rid of it. He tried to download the new version of McAfee Sheild, but something is screwed up. I think McAfee is screwed up. Their website is wacked. Hardly any links actually took you to the right page. =P Mike was supposed to call me tonight. He didn't. I figure since my brother was on the phone around the time Mike was supposed to call, that Mike DID call, but got a busy signal. Around 9 or 9:30 I started thinking that maybe I should just call him, but I didn't want to. I thought maybe he was busy or gone and that's why he didn't call...and I just have trouble calling people. I'm always afraid that I'm bugging them or something. Even friends that I talk to all the time. *sigh* Maybe tomorrow. I cleaned my room today. If you went up and looked at it right now, you'd say, "This isn't clean at all! Look at all that crap!" Well, hey, at least the crap is dust free! Lol. No, I had to get everything off the floor, so I put it all into boxes and bags and anything I could find. Then, I cleaned every hard surface off with Murphy's Oil Soap. As I leaned onto my bed to clean off the top, I heard a loud boom and suddenly, the mattress fell down. Yes. My bed broke. Ok, it didn't actually break, but there are some things you have to know about my bed: 1. It's crap 2. It's cheap crap 3. My mattress is crap from the 70's 4. The design on my mattress is brown and yellow 5. and there's a hard thing made of boards covered in material to match 6. The mattress and weird board thing actually went on a bunk bed that broke about six years ago 7. To make my mattress actually stay on my bed frame, you have to drape several boards across the metal thingies that hold the bottom and top together 8. Moving around on the mattress too much causes these boards to wiggle and loosen from their place 9. So, one day, you go to sit on your bed and it falls right through to the crap beneath it and it scares you to death because a) it sounds like a gun shot b) falling that fast just makes you dizzy and scared So, in a huff of anger, I stormed downstairs and announced, "I AM GETTING A NEW BED! I CANNOT SLEEP ON THE POOH ONE THAT I HAVE NOW. I SWEAR I AM GOING TO GET A NEW BED TOMORROW!" And then walked back upstairs. Stupid bed. =P Pooh on the pooh bed! Anyway, I had wanted to get a new bed for a couple years and just recently went to look at futons. I have over three hundred in my savings, so I definitely have enough money to buy one, but I doubt my parents will let me take the money out of there. Ooo, let me tell you all the plans for my room!!!!!! 1. Take everything out and paint, paint, paint like there's no tomorrow 2. I wanted a moon and stars theme in my room, but now I'm getting a white and light brown color scheme with my dresser, chair, and my brother's desk, which I'm going to be putting in my room soon, so now I'm thinking blue walls or something like that. Maybe still add some stars here and there, I don't know 3. I need to buy an endtable/night stand/whatever to put my phone on. Since I gave my brother my cordless, I hooked up my old phone/alarm clock, but to make the alarm clock part work, I have to plug it in, hence the next step 4. Figuring out how I'm going to plug stuff in is going to be a giant pain. Like I said before. There's only two oulets, each with two sets of holes. And the two oulets are on the same wall, only four feet apart. That makes it hard for me to plug in any phone I may have because the phone jack is clear on the other side of the room. So, I have to have a surge protector connected to two extension cords that both say specifically, "Do not plug in to another extension cord". That is why my room is a fire hazard. ACK! I just remembered that I left my lava lamp on. Wait, I think you can let it run for like up to ten hours or something. Ok, I'm safe. I turned it on around 9 or so. *sigh* I really want to talk to Mike. I kept thinking that he was coming over for some odd reason. I guess talking to him on my phone in my room brings him so close to actually being there with me that in my head, it just seemed like he was coming over. I had a dream that showed that to me last night, too. It was weird and it's hard to explain, so I'm not going to try. =( I need to talk to sweetness!!! Oh, I made a new web page so you should check it out. None of the pages are up yet and one of the links is messed up, but that shouldn't be too hard to fix. Ok, I think I'm going to go work on that web page mentioned above. Beware of the Happy Time virus! Lol 11:57 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Sunday, September 23, 2001 Oh, are you having trouble seeing the pictures below? Hmm. They didn't show up when I first looked at the page. If you can't see them, right click, click on Properties, then copy the URL. Paste it into the address bar of your browser and then you should see the pic. =) 1:39 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- *yawn* Man, I did not sleep well last night. =P I was mad hungry and...thinking about stuff. =) I looked at WAY too many cute sites yesterday. Just look at my AIM profile, lol. I'm using the words "yummy", "fruity", and "goodie" a little too much. At least it's just in my head. I don't think I've said them outloud. Hey, new pics to put up here. What I'm Going to Look Like on Halloween: =D Whaddaya think? Hee hee. I've got layouts galore inside this tiny little brain all dying to get out. Still looking for old pictures! =) I made a new site called "Fairy Tale" but don't have much up on it yet. I have it on Homestead currently, but I'm thinking of moving it to virtue.nu or freeservers.com. Both places are all HTML (what a pain) but I have Microsoft Front Page that can write most of the HTML for me. ::evil, cheating laughter:: }=) Ok, starving to death here. My family and I are about to head out to my aunt's house. She made some sort of chicken. =9 Yummy! ACK! I said it! Anyway, it's my uncle's b-day and we're celebrating. My parents wanted to get an ice cream cake. =P Blah. How disgusting. I'm not a big fan of cake in the first place, but then to make part of it ice cream? Ew. That's just nasty. Alright, I'm going to finish up. Enjoy the pics and send me email! I love to get email! ;) 1:36 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Saturday, September 22, 2001 Hey, check this one out! It's me, looking at the blog page that has the other print screen on it! Lol. Lol. Look at the time on both of them. 1:35 AM and 1:58 AM. Now you know what I do late at night! =) PS. To anyone reading this: if you have any pictures that you drew when you were little or any cute stick figures, animals, etc., etc. I want them. Lol. I know it sounds strange, but I have a kinda good idea for a layout and I discovered something on PSP that would really look cool, but I can't seem to find any pictures that I drew when I was little and I don't draw stick figures or animals, so I need some of yours! O=) Please be kind and send me some! Thanks! Now send those cute pictures with people w/o necks! How do you like this one? I think some girl in my mom's class drew this for her. I stole it, *evil laugh*. No, of course I didn't steal it! I "borrowed" it. O=) 2:13 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Yup. Listening to Radio MTV.com again. =) =P My sister must be cleaning her room...I mean majorly cleaning. She came down, got a rag, and sprayed it with dusting stuff. Gag. She sprayed a little too much. =P Ok, Nelly Furtado again. Getting a tad sick of this song. And my connection is totally messing it up. =P Skip! (the song, I mean) Hey, ever wonder what I look at every day? Wanna see what my IE looks like? Do ya? Do ya??!! Lol. Well, soon you will be able to! I'm print-screening some stuff that I do every day just for fun, so you can see! The first one I made was of my weblog window, where I type and stuff. Ooo, yeah, I know. Awesome, huh? Lol. Lol, what do you think? =) 1:59 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Friday, September 21, 2001 I'm listening to MTV2 Radio. "One Minute Man" by Missy Elliot is on right now. This song is sooooo bad! Lol. Have you ever seen the video? Oh my... Thinking about changing this darned layout again. Maybe putting the blog in a frame and putting other stuff around it. HEY! No fair! That was a short version.......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My favorite song! Yay! =) "I'm happy feeling glad Got sunshine in a bag" Gorillaz, baby! Woo hoo! Yay! =) Man, I'm gonna listen to this station (MTV2) all the time now. :) Ooooooooooooooooooooooooo, MTV is gonna be in trouble! They didn't fuzz out the swear word!...at least I think it's a swear word. I can't really understand what the guy is saying, but on the radio, they fuzz it out. Hmm. Ok, good. They fuzzed out the REALLY bad word......uh, words, heheh. Anyway, as I was saying before, I might add frames and such and put some other crap around this weblog. Not sure yet. HTML is a pain in the rear. I'm feeling a lot better than I was earlier this week. LOL! "You're listening to MTV.com Radio. I've got not freakin' clue how it works, but I know I likes it!" LOL!!!!!!! Ugh. Sum 41. I'm about sick of that song. I'll just skip it. Ah, yes, I love a radio where you can skip the stupid songs! =) Ooo, Dave Matthew's Band. I wish they'd play "I did it" more often. "The space between" is ok, I guess, but a little overplayed. Mike, I dedicate this song to you! Lol. "The Space Between"...get it? =) The rest of the song doesn't relate, so I guess I dedicate the title to you. :) Lol, did you see the commercial where the girl's at work and she's IMing her boyfriend and he breaks up with her just as her boss fires her. Then she gets an email from cubicle 9 asking her if she wants to talk over drinks and it has this song as an attachment. She stands up and so does this other guy. LOL, it's the funniest commercial. It's for MTV, I think. =) Ok, tired of that song. Let's see, what's going to come on next? Hmm, the band's name is Seven Mary Three.....ok.....stupid. Skip them. Not that one either.......hmm, sounds pretty cool.....no, skip it. Today (as in yesterday) is my parent's anniversary. Lol, I always thought it was on the 21st, not the 20th. Oops. We went out to eat at Hong Kong Buffet (yum yum) and my dad got my mom all this cool stuff. =P Hmm, a new Madonna song is playing. I guess I'll take a listen. I really liked her last CD. "Ray of Light" became my "summer song"...every time I hear it, I think of summer. Did that ever happen to anyone else? You smell or hear something and it reminds you of a season, day, or holiday? (ooh, Nelly Furtado is on) I'm making a clique about that, by the way. I made the graphics and everything. Email me if you want to know more. I'm going to dye my hair pink. I am. I swear. I don't care what my mom says, what my dad says, what my friends say. Talk to the hand! I'm dying it pink! "You know she ain't too tough, tough, tough" This song is baaaaaad, too....I think. That's what I got from it. Nelly Furtado is so pretty and skinny. I wish I looked like her. She's one of those people who look good with a bindi on their forehead. I'd love to look good with a bindi on my forehead. Those kind of people look so cute. =/ Yippee!!!!!!!! Linkin Park "Crawling". Woo hoo! Is this good music night or what? =) ::head bangs:: Lol, not quite. ::singing along:: That one guy is really cute =) The lead singer is, too, but the guy who sings that one part is--gasp--hot! Lol, ok, he's not "hot" (because I don't believe in that description and I don't even see guys as 'hot') but he just looks like a nice guy, you know, so he's what I'd call "NYYYYYYYYYYYCCCCCCEEE". ;) Not too much longer to Halloween! =) Then after that, not too much longer till Calvary's Super Bowl All-Nighter!!!!!!! YAY! I can't wait! I love all-nighters! Especially this one! First off, you start at like 10 at night, it's freezing, you all pile into two or three church vans, then drive for about two hours to Johnstown to a hockey game! Man, hanging out at hockey games and such with friends is so cool! It's better when you can go with a guy you like, but oh well. (ok, maybe I have good memories from the first one I went to because *rolls eyes* my first boyfriend went along, too =P ) Anyway, the game takes you into about 1 in the morning and they have a thing at the end where you can win cool prizes and stuff. Then from there, we usually go to bowling (which I don't really like), then to the Summit (which I LOVE) then ice skating. I hope we go to the Summit last this year. Save the best for last, you know. Wow. Enough of my ramblings on. =) I'll end this here. 3:06 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Wednesday, September 19, 2001 Ho hum. Stuck at home, no car, just me and my sister...watching Seinfeld. There's so much stuff I could be doing, I just can't choose. I'll get back to you. 7:36 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- ::takes deep, refreshing breath and smiles:: Oh yeah. I'm feelin' much better now. I have no idea what my problem was before. Man, something was really getting to me. I felt really weird...it's indescribable how I felt. Like I told Mike, I just felt "Blah". My mom had me drive to pick up my brother at the school. I managed ok on the way there, but as I sat in the car and waited for the bus to come, I couldn't stand it. Everything was getting to me. Whenever I get like that, I always have this feeling that stuff is scratching down the inside of my back and I can't do anything about it. I feel all the tension and stuff inside my body. I have the urge to get it out, which almost makes me throw up. Ugh, it's awful. Anway, as cars keep driving past, I get this weird sensation that I'm moving, but I'm not. My vision goes funny and my head feels like it's floating. (I swear I'm not on drugs!) I start to wonder if I'm going to die. Suddenly, I feel sick and I fear I might vomit, so when my mom and brother come walking back to the van, I tell her that I don't want to drive, so she does. Immediately, I feel better as I settle into the passenger seat. I have no idea what the heck was wrong just minutes before. We get home, I sit down at the computer, still feeling a bit sick, but not freaky like before. I look over at a fan we have down here and, suddenly, it appears to be darker in color. "Well, that can't be," I tell myself. My eyes are doing funny things. I pray for someone I know to get on. I think it might be that I just need other human contact besides my family members. And I was right. Mike gets on and I'm back to normal. Nothing frustrating me, I'm not sick (actually, I became hungry and I had to find something to eat), and I'm happy. =) ::hugs Mike:: Lol. In lue (is that a word? I've heard it before) of my upcoming paycheck and having nothing to do all day, I have come up with a want list (which I doubt I will actually BUY everything on here): 1. CD player 2. Hello Kitty cordless phone (they really have them!) 3. Cell phone 4. My own house (LOL) 5. A new bed (fouton, preferably, with an 8" mattress {or 9" with springs...oo, comfy!} and wooden) 6. Moon and stars sheets, pillow cases, and throw pillows to match the bed spread I already have 7. A new alarm clock (since mine is my old, old phone and I hate it) 8. A new pair of Sketcher sneakers 9. New Switchfoot CD (this is a MUST!) 10. New Cake CD 11. System of a Down CD? (should I buy this????) 12. Fastball CD (or CDs...I think there's two that I want) 13. Various moon and star things for my room (whenever I can re-decorate...or move out) 14. Gone With the Wind tapes 15. Pedal for my keyboard (not sure what it's called) 16. Piano lessons so I can play my keyboard, lol! 17. A TV for my room 18. A new wardrobe would be nice ;) 19. The Hobbit (maybe this will remind me to get to the bookstore and buy it) 20. A white visor (I have black and sky blue...now I need white) 21. WINTER CLOTHING (I don't have many warm things to wear) 22. Some good rings (my only ring is my class ring. I want some pretty rings that aren't made of cheap metal) 23. Some good earrings that won't corrode in my ears and cause an infection that makes my ears swell up and get red! (especially since I have my cartilage peirced now, but I can only wear post earrings in that for now anyway) Ok, I can't think of anything else, lol. Wow. That's a lot. I just read over my last posts. Boy, I scare myself some times! Lol. Hey, I kinda like putting up a Bible verse on each post, so here's the one for today: (these are taken from my list of fave Bible verses, which I hope to put up on TSbG someday) "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God; who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began, but is now made manifest by the appearingof our Saviour Jesus Christ, who hath abolished death, and hath brought life and immortality to light through the gospel; whereunto I am appointed a preacher, and an apostle, and a teacher of the Gentiles. For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have commited unto him against that day. Hold fast the form of sound words, which thou hast heard of me, in faith and love which is in Christ Jesus." -2 Timothy 1:7-13 1:58 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Tuesday, September 18, 2001 Once again, I sit here at home and do nothing. I decided today that I'm not going to do anything with my room until: 1. We move 2. I can paint it, rewire it, and get a new bed 3. I move out 4. I switch rooms with my brother or sister I don't see any of those things happening in the near future. There is so much I could do with my room. I have a whole theme planned out. And, I need a new CD player and phone...but I had a heck of a time with my last cordless phone (which I gave to my brother). You have to plug it in and have it hooked up to a phone line. Well, since idiots built my house, I only have two outlets........................ON THE SAME FOUR FOOT WIDE WALL! What makes it even worse is that they're connected, so if I have my fan and my CD player plugged in in each one, the fan will slow down for a second when I turn on my radio, or the radio will fuz when I turn on the fan. It's CRAZINESS! So, I have to have extension cords and surge protectors all over the place. Like I said before, I have a fear of fire, and my room scares me because it's a ABSOLUTE FIRE HAZARD! When I leave, I have to make sure I unplug everything! And, as I was thinking about buying a new CD player, I looked over at my old one and realized that it's sitting on a CARDBOARD BOX! I can't buy a new CD player and put it on a freakin' box! Where the heck am I going to put it??? Not on my desk! There's a bunch of crap on it, and I'm going to steal my brother's desk anyway and get rid of mine (stupid hunk of metal). I have two--count them, TWO--freakin dressers and still all my clothes DO NOT fit. A pile of junk sits in my closet that I dread ever having to go through. And, last but not least, my bed. The biggest thing in my room. Also, the LOUDEST, MOST ANNOYING, PEICE OF JUNK IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE HOUSE. I got the bed frame from my cousin. To be honest, I could build something sturdier than that. *rolls eyes* I'm afraid that some night, I'm going to roll over and the bed is just going to collapse. Also, my mattress couldn't be more uncomfortable. I often think that the reason I have trouble sleeping so much is my dumb mattress. Springs popping up in my back all night while my sister sleeps on her fluffy fouton and my parents sleep on their new mattress. How did I manage to get all the crap? If I have to look at sponge paint one more second, I think I'm going to throw up. That is soooooooooo early 90's and some day, I'm just going to take white out to my walls and paint over all of it. Teal and light blue sponge paint. That's what's in my room. That is what covers my walls.....what I wake up to every morning.........WHAT HAUNTS ME IN MY SLEEP! And then, BROWN! Brown trim! All the wood in my room is a light, freakin BROWN!!!! Not a wood brown, not a natural brown at all. Sort of like a caramel brown that someone puked on. It is so ugly, that might be another reason why I can't sleep. My parents wonder why I let my room get so messy, well THERE'S YOUR ANSWER! I could do so much to that room to make it wonderful, but I can't because we rent...and it would take a full construction crew and about a million dollars. Pooh on my stupid room! Oh yeah, heaven forbid that I beg my parents to try a little freakin harder to look for houses. My dad starts yelling at me telling me to get a job so I can help. HELP? What the heck kind of job do you think I can get to help out moving???? Become a realator so I can get the best houses?! For crying out loud, end the stupidity! And I'm so sick of my whole family being up my butt about getting a job, going to school, what time I go to bed, what time I wake up, what I do all day. Be quiet! I'm 18, have you forgotten? I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, whatever I feel like. If I want to flush my life down the drain, let me be. You're pushing me to do crap isn't going to make it better. That just makes it worse. But, do they listen to that??? NO! They laugh and don't take me seriously. Blah! =P So much anger. So little sets me off. I'm not like this all the time. It's hormones, I swear. 7:05 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Trying to get the archives to work right. Darn it Blast stupid Blogger! Blast you! BLAST YOU! Ok, I'm sorta glad that it's not just me having these dumb archive problems...other people seem to be, too. =P A thousand times =P! 2:09 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- =P No one was on tonight. I sent only one IM. It was to Liz and she signed off without replying. My eyes are itchy because of my stupid cat. I'm freezing. My throat hurts. I'm bored out of my mind and it's 1:37 am. Once again =P That's how I feel. Alone, stupid, bored, weird, anxious, agitated, agravated..... *sigh* I have a System of a Down song in my head, "Chop Suey". It's a beautiful song...scary, but beautiful. The lead singer, Serj, has a really nice voice. "Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed? For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with greif: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our greifs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our trangressions, he was bruised for our iniquites: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all." -Isaiah 53:1-6 King James Rules Death to NIV! 1:48 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Monday, September 17, 2001 Man, I had some crazy dreams last night! Since Becka and I talked about cats on the phone a lot yesterday, I had this dream that we were at war and we had to leave Altoona. I tried to grab my cat, but he ran away or something. (It was a part of the dream that's fuzzy and I can't really remember what happened) Anyway, I didn't have my cat and I was in the church van and we were driving around looking for him. I saw a black cat along the road, thought he was mine, and stopped to pick him up. After a while, I wondered if he really was mine, so I looked at his stomach. My cat has a patch of white hair on his stomach. This cat didn't, so we had to keep looking for mine. We found him, and I kept both cats in the church van with me. Then, I saw this really pretty cat and I made them stop and let me pick him up. (It was pretty in my dream, though a cat in real life would never look like that. He had a sky blue strip running over it's neck, then down its sides, and the rest of his fur was white) Then, we caught up to this truck that had a trailer on the back. They had signs on it saying "free cats" or something and we figured this pretty one must have fallen off of it. Then, this really cute guy got off and made us stop. He said that I could have the cat, but he need to write my phone number down. He was messing around and kept writing the wrong numbers down. Some other girl was standing with us and she was getting mad because the guy liked me, not her. (Lol, if I remember correctly, it was Becka) Then, the guy left, but he gave me this cute little note. For some reason it was framed. I kept looking at it the whole rest of the trip. How weird is that? Lol. I always have messed up dreams. Anyway, after I went to pick up my mom after school, I went up to my room (because my sister was on the computer and nothing was on TV), put on Switchfoot, got my sketchbook and rocked out as I fixed a picture I was drawing. Looking at the picture made me happy, which was good, because some reason I was feeling down today. As I listened to words of "Incomplete" I think everything that has happened this past week came crashing down and I began to cry. Just for a few minutes, but it felt good. Then, I finished drawing, the picture making me happy again, and I continued to rock out to Switchfoot, though when song 9 came on (the last song on the CD that I like) my STUPID CD player started making staticy sounds. =P I really need a new one. So, I stopped the CD before it got destroyed and I found my School House Rock ROCKS tape and I started to play that. Then, I started rocking out to "Energy", "Twelve Toes" and "Electricity", lol. I especially like "Mr. Morton". =) "Conjunction Junction, what's your function?!" Wooo hoo! I wanted to do something with Becka today, but I forgot that they have soccer practice. Then, I was going to call and her tell her a bunch of crap, but I figured I could just tell her online..even though she isn't on yet. Ow. My sore hurts. It's at the very top of my gums on the right side of my mouth on my top jaw. =P I hate having sores in my mouth. One time, I had four at a time, one on my uvula (that's that thing that hangs down at the back of your throat). Yeah, that REALLY hurt, especially when I talked or swallowed. That was awful. Sores are only supposed to last 7-10 days...theses lasted exactly 10 days, being sore the whole time. Usually, there's a period at the end where they hardly hurt. Not these suckers. Ugh. My throat hurts. Did you ever breathe through your nose a lot and then the back of your throat gets all dry and sore? Well, that's what this is. o_O I'm trying to breathe through my mouth, but that's weird. Who breathes through their mouth all the time anyway? 7:38 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Right now I: - am waiting for my sister to get home from school - am blinking my eyes a lot because, after getting a shower, they are pretty dry - am smelling my shampoo. Mmmm mmmmm - am trying to get warm - am in pain. My throat hurts and I have a sore in my mouth - am thinking about emailing everyone in my address book and asking them to join a group blog with me - am looking at my hair brush that's sitting on top of my Bible - am drinking Dr. Pepper - justed finished eating a turkey and mustard sandwich - wonder if Becka can do something with me after school...maybe we could go to the mall... - feel really stupid, but I won't say why - feel alone =( - am made because I have yet to get the Spirit Spark from the Site Fights! I've waited three months to get it! - haven't recieved my Teen magazine yet. Usually, it's sent at the beginning of each month. I haven't gotten it yet this month - am picking off my nailpolish because all of it got loosened in the shower - have "Company Car" in my head by Switchfoot "Mike was right when he said I'd put up a fight to be someone, a fight to be me but see, now, I'm down, under the pavement of capital hills and lowercase people As time rolls by, my dreams have become that which is attainable, but not what I'm looking for I got the company car I'm the one swinging at two below par Yeah, I've become one with the ones that I've never believed in But I got the company car Hey. I'm the king of things I've always despised I'm the ginger bread man who got eaten alive I'm half-baked, I'm fake, but see I got hotels on parkplace and boardwalk 200 bucks, I pass go, but, OH, life's taken it's toll Have I won Monopoly to forfeit my sole? but see... I got the company car I'm the one swinging at two below par yeah, I've become One with the ones that I've never believed in But I got the company car All the king's horses at the foot of the wall They're taking pictures of the man who's lost all of his masks of pretension He's got two faces left His is the one that he hides on the left behind that smile Hiding tears, and fears, that burns like an engine and drives him away from the ones that he loves Mike was right, Hey, Mike! We're one in the same, we're the faceless combatants in the loneliest game Ah, but stay away as I'm driving by with that smirk in my eye Yelling, "Hey, I'm somethin' man, check me out!" I got the company car I'm the one swinging at two below par yeah, I've become one with the ones that I've never believed in But I got the company car Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh" ::grins widely:: I didn't even look at the words on the CD cover..so if you know the song and I got something wrong, you'll know why. =) 3:38 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Lol. My cat is lying in my lap. He must be really cold. Aww, poor kitty cat! Lol. I'd better take my Allegra or else I'm going to have some serious allergy problems later. I'm really hungry. I should get something to eat. OW! Stop it kitty! Someone called at like 11 this morning. I didn't get to the phone in time to see who it was. It was probably my dad asking if I wanted anything for lunch. I heard him come home today. =P I also heard my mom at 7:15 this morning trying to wake up my brother. Yuck. I took me a while to get back to sleep after that. I want to do something fun today. Like go to the mall. Maybe I'll see if Becka can go. That's the only person I can think of. Hmm. 1:52 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Sunday, September 16, 2001 I'm thinking about starting a new blogger thingie-ma-bob. (I feel like making up cute words. I was in the nursery at church this morning, lol) I added the mood thinger up there, did ya see? =) Oh yeah, Becka scanned my senior pictures for me. =) Yay! Oh about the new blogger-thinger, yeah, I want to have a lot of people posting on it, but no one wants to. =( Who is reading this anyway? Lol. I act like twenty people read this when it's only like Mike and sometimes Becka. (a, e, i, o, u...and sometimes y, lol. That just reminded me of it) =P I can't wait for Halloween! I'm seriously (SEEEEEERIOUSLY!) going to dye my hair pink and dress up like Gwen Steffani from the "Ex girlfriend" video. Seriously. 9:28 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Yay! I'm not sick! Lol. =) Man, Dan's party was really boring. Hardly anyone was there. Becka said that she was coming, but she never did. At least I got to hang out with Liz! :) I wanted to call Mike tonight after I called Becka, but my brother needed the phone, and then my dad was (and still is) expecting a call, so no one can use the phone now. *sigh* Wow, this is a short blog. Pooh! My nailpolish is coming off already. =P Dan's mom, Liz, and Katie all noticed them at least. =) 8:38 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Saturday, September 15, 2001 Ugh. My head hurts. I think I'm getting sick. Everyone at the youth center kept saying they felt sick. Now I do. =P Tonia and I were looking at houses for sale. She wants to buy a house and I want to move in with her. I doubt that I will, but it's a nice thought. I would have to get a job and pay her rent, though. Like that's going to happen. Man, it is so cold here! I am freezing! Why can't we turn the heater on? ::shivers:: My hands are sooo cold! I can hardly type. My feet are even cold adn I have shoes on...and a long sleeve shirt with a sweatshirt on top! I French-tipped my nails again...even though they're miniscule. My longest nail started to rip down where it was attached to skin and that really hurt! So, I was forced to cut it off so it wouldn't get caught on anything. ='( That totally sucked. I'm talking to Mike right now. I was talking to Becka, but then she deserted me so she could talk to Mike. I won't say anything. 11:10 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Friday, September 14, 2001 Have you ever ridden in an elevator several times a day for three days in a row? It really messes up your balance, let me tell you! Lol. Tonia and I, when we arrived at the hotel, would have to go to the lobby elevator, go to the 4th floor, get our cart, take the elevator back down to the lobby, go into the new elevators, go to the 3rd floor, ride back down in the elevators to the ground floor, getting towels and cleaning supplies, and then ride back up to 3rd again. Then, at lunch, we'd have to ride it down to lobby, get Tonia's food, down to ground, get my cooler, then eat. After that, I'd put my cooler back, ride up to lobby, drop off Tonia's plate, then back up to 3rd. Anytime we had to use the bathroom, we'd have to take the elevator back down to the lobby. At break, we usually went to the bathroom, then went to ground floor, then rode back up to 3rd when break was over. When we were all done, we had to grab the cart, ride the elevator down to the lobby, then, walk around to the old elevator, ride it up to 4th, drop off our cart, then, ride all the way down to ground floor, drop off any extra towels, get my cooler, then ride back up to lobby to walk to Derek's office. Doing that for three days in a row has severly messed up my sense of balance. I noticed after the second day. I would just be standing around and I would have the feeling as if the elevator had just stopped. You know, like dropping down, then back up. And I keep tripping over stuff. Really weird. Did you ever notice that when paper goes through the wash, it totally disintegrates? My learner's permit went through the wash one time and as soon as I touched it, it turned to dust. (Ok, I'm exaggerating, but you get the drift) But, then, what the heck is money made out of? I've put money through the wash numerous times and it comes out wet. That's all. It looks barely touched. What is it made out of??? Well, whatever it is, I'm glad because I'd be out about twenty bucks if it melted away like normal paper. Those people at the mint must be geniuses! I watched the candle light vidgil in Somerset today. It was on live on a local chanel. It was ok, I guess. They had a huge flag hanging up, so I thought that was cool. Governor Tom Ridge was there and so were some of the Steelers and their families. The families of some of the people on the plane also showed up. I thought it was really neat whenever they announced that a star had been named in honor of the people who died on that flight. The only thing bad about it was the lady singing our national anthem totally sucked and the speeches weren't very good. The one guy seemed really nervous or distracted. Everything was choppy. I know they threw it together on a short notice, but, still... Find some people to write good speeches, for crying out loud. That totally took away the beauty of it for me, anyway. But, it was still nice of them to hold the memorial. One cool thing that the Governor said was that on this date in 1814, the Star Spangled Banner was written. I thought that was awesome! ::yawns:: I'm doing laundry right now and waiting for my mom to come back with my food. My dad, sister, and mom went to eat at the Olive Garden tonight. I didn't go because I need a shower (yet, have no clean clothes) and I hate going places when I need a shower. My brother didn't go because he had a soccer game...that I wished could have gone to, but I didn't have a ride. Derek was supposed to take me and Tonia, but we didn't work today, so that went out the window. Lol. He even made signs for us. Three. One said G, the other C, and the other S. On the opposite side, they had W, I, and N. Oh well. =) 9:24 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Thursday, September 13, 2001 Lol. I changed the template again. How do you like this one? I was getting sick of pink. =P Do you like the blue, green, and yellow? I'm not sure about it yet, but oh well. Mike signed on tonight, but then signed right back off. I wonder if something is wrong with his connection. Hmm. I hope he gets back on. I love talking to him. ^_^ 9:45 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Guess what! Today was my last day at work! Tonia forgot that she had plans tomorrow, so she couldn't go. I didn't want to go by myself to work, so we told them that we both couldn't come. Did I tell you that they wanted us to work for them FULL TIME?! Lol. Oh, that's a good one. I gave Tonia my screen name today and the addresses to my two webpages. She and Derek kept trying to convince me to go to choir tonight. I kinda wanted to, but I hadn't eaten yet and I needed a shower. Derek was supposed to take us to the school's soccer game tomorrow after work, but we're not going to work, so, you know. He did tell me that I could go with him to work tomorrow, walk around State College for SIX HOURS, go with him to lunch for ONE HOUR and then he'd take me to the game. I laughed at that one, too. Yeah, I'm going to go shopping in a strange city all by myself for five hours, then go to lunch with Derek for one. HA! o_O Now, I would go shopping with Mike.....but I can't. =( And, I want to go to the soccer game with him.....but I can't. =( Man, this sucks. Ok, very hard to write when my parents are CONSTANTLY making comments at the TV. =P I want the computer moved to my room! Some where where it's quiet. Actually, I want my own house. I'm very irritable today. Hmm. I fell asleep again on the couch. This time, only for half an hour. I woke up just in time to see the last half of Seinfeld. It was something that they showed before the last show. It was really funny. I wonder if they have those things on DVD. I don't have a DVD player, but it would be cool to have the DVD to keep because it would last a long time. Have you ever watched something that was on DVD? It's really cool. We watched Gone With the Wind and Dances With Wolves on DVD in history class last year. (I especially liked Gone With the Wind ^_^) It was cool because you can skip to certain scenes. In Gone With the Wind, I wished we could have skipped the credits. They put the credits at the beginning and it took forever. We had to watch all of them. =P I want to buy the tapes of Gone With the Wind, but my parents can't stand it, so they won't let me. Once again, I want to move out. I can't take it anymore. I'm going to explode! 8:54 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- ::yawn:: I was reading over my last post and discovered some typos. Oh well. I'm not going to fix them. I'm too lazy. =) Got Mike's phone number tonight. :) Not sure when I'm going to call him, though. Probably on the weekend. Hey, I now have two posts in the archives all ready! Yipee! Lol. I thought that I would get sick of this 'blog' thing by now, but it's actually quite fun. I use this as my diary now instead of the one I wrote in before......unless I want to write something really personal, then I'll write in my old diary. This is just for those interested in what goes on inside my head during the day. =) I over slept some this morning. I woke up at 7 with my alarm, shut it off, then went back to bed. My mom woke me up fifteen minutes later and I woke up and yelled, "Everything's messed up now!" (Yeah, I'm a little freaky in the morning, heh heh. Not everything in my head works quite right) What I meant by that was I thought that Derek had come to get me and I hadn't put in my contacts, gotten dressed, brushed my teeth, or anything yet. I also thought about what happened yesterday. I think it finally sank in this morning, though everything still feels like a bad dream. I am getting kind of sick of talking about it. I just want to forget it and for everything to go back to normal. I know that won't happen....it can't happen... Tonia and I talked today about how we both don't like to be touched. (By that, I mean massaged, poked at, bumped into, and anything involving other people putting their hands on you for no real reason) I don't mind hugs. In fact, I used to hate hugs, but now I really like them. (To make a long story short, Thadd and I were in a play where we had to hug. Here, it turns out, I hugged 'wrong' and he showed me how to hug. Lol, it sounds funny, I know, but that's when I started really enjoying hugs. I don't instigate them normally, I'm usually the hugger-backer.) So, hugs are ok, a pat on the back to say hello (like Dave does) is fine, but not poking. I hate it when people poke me, my stomach especially. I am very self-conscious about my stomach, so it doesn't help when people are poking at it. Besides, is that supposed to feel good? I was standing in line for lunch one time at my church's summer conference and this guy (Chris H....Becka knows him....and Becka better not tell anyone about how I know him) walked over to me and poked my sides. That was ok. I was standing. That made it better....plus it was Chris. Whoa. Going in the wrong direction. Anyway, my point is, don't touch me for no reason. Hug me, cuddle me, pat me all you want (poke me if I'm standing and you happen to be Chris H., ha ha. j/k) but no poking my stomach, grabbing my neck, massaging my hands or any other body part, no wrestling around, don't pick me up (I'm too heavy anyway), don't grab my arm, don't stand so close to me that I can feel you breathing (unless I want you to, ^_~), don't bump into me, don't rub against me as you walk past, and don't touch my face. Do you see why some people don't like to be touched like that? It's not for people you hardly call friends to do. It's for people you are close to. People I'm close to I can handle bumping me or standing close to me (to some extent). Not strangers, ok? The reason I'm writing this is to try to find other people who feel the same way. So far, I know two: fellow grad and Tonia. (Why do I call her "fellow grad" all the time? Beats me.) And I just needed to get that off my chest. Oops! Gotta go to bed! 1:25 AM! Yikes! 1:28 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Wednesday, September 12, 2001 Ugh. Work was heck today. I'm soooooooo glad that this is only until Friday. Two more freakin' days. We had thirteen rooms to do today. We got done at 4 because we were going slow. We were both really tired. For our break at 2:00, we stayed in our room, sprawled out on a made bed and wathced Tom and Jerry. That was relaxing. It helped a little. I thought about Mike a lot today. I wondered when I would get a chance to buy a phone card. I found out that we might have to walk to Derek's office again, so I told Tonia I wanted to go to the 'store street' downtown to see if anyone sold phone cards. We had an interesting talk this morning on the way there about friendship. Derek asked who my best friends were and before I could answer, he asked, "Katie?". I shook my head and he wondered why I didn't consider her one of my friends. I began to tell them all this stuff about her and what she did, but I think they didn't believe me. They kept defending her. I was like, "Whatever." (By the way, I said that Mike and Becka were my best friends) Later on, as Tonia and I made a bed, she asked what made Mike and Becka good friends. Hmm. No one's really asked that before, but I answered right away. "Well, I can trust them. Both of them." Tonia then asked, "With anything?" "Yeah, sure," I tell her, dusting off the air conditioner. She looks at me. "ANYTHING?" I thought a minute. I told her my answer. (I won't say it online, ^_^) She nodded. "I just don't understand how you can trust *friend who was part of answer to last question* with anything? I just don't get it!" I shrug and go to get my glass cleaning cloth. I'm not sure if you could call me a 'trusting' person. I'm a 'trustworthy' person to other people, but for me to trust you, two things have to happen: 1. You have to earn it, like normal friendships work 2. We just click and I know that you can be trusted. That one is the coolest because then you can share anything with them soon after you become friends. Like Derek said about his best friends, "You're life's a book, their life's a book...you just let the other person read your story." Well said, Derek. On the way home, instead of letting me sleep, Derek decided to play, "I'll sing a song as loud and annoyingly as I can and you try to guess what movie or TV show it was from." ::rolls eyes:: He has some serious problems. We played the game the whole hour long trip home. =P I would have fallen asleep except the fact that the stupid seats in his car were so darn uncomfortable. Rock hard and at a weird angle, they started to make my back hurt....which was already hurting again from bending over to tuck in the freakin' sheet and blanket. Why do we tuck that crap in? People just pull it out anyway! Who in the world is paper-thin and can squeeze down inbetween the fitted sheet and the normal sheet after it's been tucked in like that? NO ONE! And, even if someone could, I would be a million bucks that it's not comfortable. Yesterday, when I was making my first bed, I started to tuck it in like you would your own bed at home. Jane was like, "No, sweetie! We don't tuck it in like we're at home!" Then she showed me the awful tuck....tuck....tuck. That's all I do all day....................tuck....................tuck......................................tuck. ::holds hands up:: Ok, can someone say "carpet burn"? Those box springs are heck when you keep rubbing your knuckles over them tuck, tuck, tucking the stuff under it. And, once you get all the stuff under, the mattress is sticking up two feet in the air at the bottom. I was like screw looks, I just want the stuff tucked in. Half the mattresses in our rooms looked like someone was hiding underneath them. Oh yeah. In one stay-over, there was a six pack of beer. All the bottles were empty, of course, but it was funny to see it. Then, in the next room, a check-out, I found another six pack of beer....one bottle empty, the rest are full. I was telling Derek about it on the way home and he was like, "Did you drink some?". Seriously, Derek. Do you even have to ask? I was like, "No." And he asked, "Well, how come?". Duh. What an egg head. =) Well, I'm sort of talking to Becka while I await Michael's arrival online. I can't wait to tell him that I did get a chance to buy a phone card! Tonia took me to a store on the way to my house. =) I bought the $10. She said it was a penny a minute. That means a thousand minutes to talk to Mike! ^_^ Yay! 8:57 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Right now, I am: -bored, that's why I'm blogging -wearing my light blue Nike sweat shirt over top my "Seniors, Class of 2001" t-shirt with my Old Navy navy blue running pants with light blue stripes down the sides. I'm also wearing my old soccer socks, pulled all the way up to my knees. =) I'm cold. -wondering what Mike's doing. I think he's reading my letter -thinking of when I can buy a phone card to call Mike. Maybe tomorrow, if I can convince Tonia to walk to downtown State College with me...hmm -thinking that I should ask Mike for his phone number right now, so that if I do get the card tomorrow, I can call him right away. =) -feeling stupid because Mike isn't reading my letter, he talking to friends -wondering how many rooms we'll have to clean tomorrow -thinking I should bring Tylenol for my back. It really hurt today from bending over to make the beds. -wanting to take my camera along tomorrow to take pictures of the lobby, which is beautiful! But the hooligans that I work with would probably steal my backpack and I need a new camera battery. Maybe I'll take it at the end of the week... -hungry -now wondering what I should take in my lunch tomorrow -trying not to think of war or any of my guy friends being drafted (Mike being at the top of the list) 12:03 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Tuesday, September 11, 2001 7:00 AM- I wake up to the sound of my alarm. I had been in a pretty deep sleep and I felt good. I didn't fall asleep until three that morning because I was thinking...about stuff. ^_~ Anyway, I got up quickly, dressed, and walked downstairs. My mom got out of the shower finally and let me use the bathroom. I put in my contacts, brushed my teeth, and thought about what the day would bring. I wondered what the people I would work with today would be like. I wondered if the hotel rooms would be really dirty. I shrugged to myself, finished up and then waited for Derek to come pick me up. 7:45 AM- Derek comes right on time. =) He (crazily) drives me to Advantage Staffing (where he works) and we meet up with Tonia. We sit down and wait for him to do some stuff and then we're off. We get on the highway, listening to Derek's praise and worship CD, but then get off on the Tyrone exit because Derek likes the scenic route. I think to myself that the scenic route will take longer, but oh well. We wind around tight curves and stare at the beautiful mountains that spread out before us. We joke around about the pigs and cows we see. For some reason, Derek and Tonia think both animals are cute. =P Ew. We drive past Derek's horse and he gets all excited. I look at the clock. 8:39. Derek says he has to drive fast to get us there on time. I look at the clock again after a while. 8:47. I can't stop looking at the clock for some reason. We finally make it to State College and arrive at the Days Inn. 9:00 AM- Tonia and I are trying to find the person in charge of house keeping. We finally find her and we settle in, have things explained to us, and then get assigned someone to train us. (We'll call her "Jane") Jane takes us to a closet, pulls out a cart and starts loading it with stuff. We get our little soaps, big soaps, tiny shampoos and such, and finally made our way to the third floor where all our rooms were. 9:30 AM- We're in our first room. Tonia is cleaning the bathroom (bless her heart) and I'm dusting the furniture. A guy who works in laundry (we'll call him "John") comes running down the hall. "Hey! Did you guys hear? Two planes just crashed into the World Trade Center! I don't believe it!" Jane swears and I stand in shock, dusting cloth in hand as Tonia rings out her sponge. She wonders what we're talking about. I tell her, hardly able to comprehend it. What? What's going on? Two planes crashed? I don't understand? 10:00 AM- We're in our third or fourth room now. Every room we go in, I turn on the TV to ABC. Jane sits on the bed and swears over and over as I try to put the fitted sheets on, shaking like crazy. I can't believe what's going on! Jane leaves and Tonia is in the bathroom, so I'm all alone to listen to the voices drone on over the facts that I've already heard. Suddenly, the local people come on. What's that they're saying? I listen closer. "Another high-jacked plane has just crashed down 80 miles south of Pittsburg..." I'm on the verge of tears. PITTSBURG??!! No! No, no, no, no, no! That is WAY to close to me! I watch in horror as the cancelations go across the bottom of the screen. Schools that I can name students from are closing early. Baseball, soccer, and football games are all being canceled...... Then, the news anchor says something that makes my stomach turn. "A suspicious package has been reported being delivered to the Altoona post office." I collapse onto the bed. Immediately I think of my old school. Do the kids there know? Do my friends know what's going on? Do they know the terror that has struck our wonderful country? Are they safe? I try to push the thought out of my mind, thinking why in the world would someone try to bomb Altoona. (I would laugh, but it's no laughing matter) I don't really remember the specific times after that. Every time I looked at the clock it seemed to be only seconds later. Every time I turned on the news, they seemed to add something even more terrifying. I wanted to leave work. I couldn't concentrate. If I did a bad job, tough tacos. How can you expect me to work when my country, my home, my FREEDOM is being attacked by terrorists? Especially when a plane just crashed hours away from me??!! 3:00 PM- We finished off our last room to the sound of the news reporters' voices. Walking to the AS office, Tonia and I laughed. How could we laugh, though? How could we possibly laugh while all those people are trapped? I kept thinking about what it would feel like to be one of those people. To be trapped, hurt, and bleeding. To not know what just happened. To wonder if their family is ok. To be praying so hard that help comes. 5:00 PM- Derek is driving us home. I'm silent most of the way, thinking still of the terrible events. Derek and Tonia somehow can laugh and talk and joke around. I can't. I think of Mike a lot during this time. Wondering what he's thinking about all of this. I wonder, too, if he's seen that a plane crashed in PA. I bet he'll ask me when he IMs me if I'm alright. 6:05 PM- We finally arrive at my house. Derek comes in to talk to my brother. My mom asked strangely, "Have you been watching the news at all?" I answer, "Yes, all day," then leave the room. I don't really feel like talking. Derek stays a couple minutes to watch the news with us. We're looking at clips of another country that has been attacked by missles, they think. The news people talk about how they think it's the US retaliating. Derek shakes his head, turns to me and says, "Man, I'm going to get drafted." I find that funny and I laugh for a second. Derek then says he has to leave, I say bye, and then turn back to the TV. My dad is recording it. I figure I should write about it somewhere. I thought of my blog first. Unless the terrorists bomb the internet, my blog will always be here. 7:45 PM- After eating, I get online, hoping that Mike is on so I can tell him that I'm alright physically, but not emotionally. He gets on around 8 and he asks if I'm alright (I'm a mind reader). I tell him that I'm scared because of the crash that was so close to me and he said he was worried about me. This makes me feel better, but I'm still scared. He has to go and we say goodbye, promising that we wil both pray. 8:30 PM- President Bush comes on TV to talk. His speech is wonderful and up-lifting, while still mourning the trageties. My eyes brim with tears as he quotes Psalm 23:4. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." 8:54 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Ok. Changed the template AGAIN. I like this way better. I was getting tired of the gray type. =) Now I'm thinking about changing the name and adding new members (like Mike and Becka ^_^). What do you think? Oh, who's reading this anyway?! 12:42 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Derek called today. He gave me another temporary job. It's at a Day's Inn. I get to be house keeping. Lol. I've always wanted to knock on a door and go, "House keeping!". It's 9-5 and Derek didn't tell me how much we're getting paid. I'm going with Tonia. She's cool. See, before, Derek would make sure we knew how much it was. "It's $7 an hour" or "It's $9 an hour". This time he didn't say anything about how much. Hmmm. Becka and Mike got to meet tonight. Not in person, but online. (Duh, I've never met Mike in person) Anyway, he wanted to talk to her (since I talk about her all the time) and I think Becka wanted to talk to him (since I talk about him all the time ^_^) So, we all went into a chat on AIM and we all talked. It was really fun. Becka is hilarious and when you put us together.....it's craziness. =) Mike called us "a handful", hee hee. That's about right. :) I read the next part of Michael's story tonight. ^_^ I really like it! He's such a great writer! He's such a great friend! He's just so great! =) Wanna see pics of Mike, Becka, and myself? Click here! 12:16 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Sunday, September 09, 2001 My computer has some major issues. I finally found out why the mouse wasn't working. There was a trail of dust and lint around each sensor. Not to mention food crumbs. Finally it runs smooth again. =) I hate it when this stupid thing tells me that there's an "internal error" in one of my windows and I should close everything and restart. Pooh on you! I tried to restart (while I was trying to write this post before) and it said that I had to close the program that was running. Uh, hello?! There was no such program running. Stupid thing! So, I had to manually shut it off, and then it wouldn't turn on. It didn't feel like it just then. Of course when my dad comes over and turns it on, it works. "It never does that to me," he says as the computer gladly turns on. =P Of course not. It's just me that the computer hates! And I can't figure out what's wrong with the freakin' background! It's Blue Rivets every time you turn it on. No matter how many times I switch it back to Clouds, it's Blue Rivets when you restart or turn it on. And, suddenly, Blue Rivets is behind every single wallpaper you can choose from. I tried viewing the desktop as a web page, and not viewing it as a web page. I don't see the difference in them, and I don't think the computer cares. It wants Blue freakin' Rivets! ARRGH! 10:09 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- The Pirates won the game. Woopie doo. I was just excited that I got to see Ken Griffy, Jr. Ha ha! We couldn't have had better seats. We were at the very top, but we had a terrific view of the river (my mind just went blank...I can't remember the name of the river). The constant breeze blowing against us was great, considering it was 90 degrees in the van on the way there, and I was smushed up against Chris. (Eeeewww! Boy germs! Lol) I think I lost a couple pounds on account of: -I hardly ate anything yesterday (honey bun, Dorritos, Ho Ho's, and chocolate chip cookies) -It was sooooo hot! -On the way home, I wanted real food, but we stopped at Dunkin Donuts!!!!! I don't want to go into great detail of all that happened. I already vented the bad stuff to Mike (poor Mike had to listen to my complaining). So, this night will remain a mystery to you all!.....who didn't go, heh heh. Goodbye for now! 12:36 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Friday, September 07, 2001 Argh. I think I had/have a cold. My throat doesn't hurt anymore, but now my ears keep popping and they hurt every once in a while. =( I'm going to a Pirates game tomorrow with my peeps from the youth center. That should be fun. I don't really like baseball, but I like going to games with friends. =) I almost missed talking to Mike tonight. My parents left me and my siblings at home while they went over to the school for parent/teacher night. My sister and I were starving. We were left with no vehicle to get food!!! (And of course there's nothing to eat at my house) Finally they came home, discovered that I had been online the whole time and started freaking. I had to get off, my brother got on, then after a while I asked to get back on again. I was allowed! Shortly after I got on, I got an email from Mike, replying to my email that I might not be on tonight. I emailed him back ASAP and he finally got on AIM. =) Then I was happy. I think I'm going to get a shower. =P I feel dirty. Bye bye! 12:41 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Thursday, September 06, 2001 \\kitty's.coffee.shop//. Hey all. This is the cutest site! I suggest you go here. There's enough to keep you busy for hours! =) 12:37 AM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Wednesday, September 05, 2001 Ok, just got back from school. Since lunch is at 12:30, I left the house at 12:00, picking up the roses first. That only took two seconds...I thought there would be masses of people getting their free roses. Nope. I was the only one in there. Of course, it was still early in the day, but, anyway, I'm driving down the road and I'm thinking about how early I'm going to get there. I was wondering if I should get my food before the kids come down, or wait until they're getting in line. Suddenly, I remember that I forgot to grab my money, so I had to turn around, waste ten minutes, drive back home, run inside, grab seven bucks, then rush back out of the house. Then, I had a wonderful time trying to park. =P How close are you supposed to park from a stop sign? I think I was too close. Anyway, the old door we used to go in is now not in use, so I had run around to the front of the building, carrying my bag of Ho Ho's (two boxes), a dozen pink roses, my keys, and my purse, meanwhile the wind is blowing my hair across my eyes and I could hardly see a thing. I try to open the door. It's locked. Then I notice the doorbell. I push it and the new administrator comes out asking what I want. I push my way in, saying that I came to eat lunch at my old lunchtable. She laughs. I can't control the sudden shaking in my body. Am I excited about seeing my old friends? Or nervous? I don't do well in people situations. She finally lets me in and I make my way to the stairs. Opening the door, I see my old lunch table. ::angelic choir sings:: Lol, j/k. I walk over and everyone's like, "::insert *Star*'s real name::!!! Wow! Why are you here?" That one took me off guard. I thought Becka would tell everyone that I was coming, since we've been planning this since the beginning of school. I guess not. I gave everyone at the table a rose...except I think my fellow grad who did show up left the table before I gave her her's. I heard the teachers trying to get my attention, so I walked over to them (three were there), so I gave them each a rose, keeping the one that was left for myself...even though another teacher joined them later. I think I heard him whine about how he didn't get a flower, but oh well. Only one girl noticed my nails today. She said they look professional. Another girl heard us talking and she looked at them. She asked if they were real, I said yes, and then she tried to eat them. I'm serious. She was like, "I just want to bite them!" It was about that time that I got really hungry, so I walked up and asked for my chicken sandwich. My fellow grad, who was in the kitchen, said, "There's no more." I was shocked. "I told my mom to order me one!" (My mom teaches at the school and she said she would order me a sandwich that morning) Fellow grad just shrugged. I walked back to the other side of the lunchroom, got a bottle of water, then plopped down at the table. Becka gave me one of her Ho Ho's, since I did buy them for her and everything, and I stole her bag of pretzels. As I ate, everyone felt this was Question *Star* time. They all asked if I'm going to school, what I'm doing, how I'm doing, blah blah blah. One girl told me I "look good". Hmm, yeah, considering I look the same as I did on the day of graduation. Oh well. Well, the bell finally rang and lunch was over. Everyone got up and left, some other kids whining, "Why didn't I get a rose?", "What about me? Where's my rose?", "Why are you here?". I just shrugged at all of them, hugged some of my friends, then left as quickly as possible. I hope I didn't have to tell the administrator that I was leaving. Hmm... Right now, I am: -finishing off my eggsalad sandwich -wishing I had gotten my chicken sandwich! Darn those kids who don't order, go through line, and get food anyway! Darn them! -wearing my "Old Navy" outfit. A greenish, short-sleeve shirt and beige/brown stretchy pants with a seam going down the front. Really cool. I also am wearing my white sketchers. -fighting off the feeling of my soar throat. It still hurts from last night, but I don't feel sick in my head anymore -thinking about going to youth group tonight. I probably will, to show off my nails, hee hee 1:42 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- Tuesday, September 04, 2001 Hi! This is *Star*. I'd like to welcome you to my first ever Blog. =) Right now, I am: -trying not to smudge my nails. I just painted a clear top coat over the French-tipping I did earlier. It looks pretty good...a little jagged in some places, but almost professional -wearing my Service Master t-shirt that I got (for free) when I worked as a temp for them cleaning yucky college apartments for three freakin' days. I'm also wearing really thin, but comfy, navy blue pants with a bungee drawstring and sky blue tubing down the sides. -telling myself I am not getting sick...even though my head hurts and my throat is starting to. =( -thinking of what I'm going to say to Mike when I email him. Hmm... Tomorrow, I am going to my old school (the one I graduated from, woo hoo!) to eat lunch at my old lunch table. ::wipes away one tear from her eye:: Lol. Becka requested that I bring Ho Ho's so I am. But, little do they know, that on the way over there, I'm stopping by the local florists to pick up a FREE dozen roses. (It's good neighbor day. They give you the roses then make you sign a promise saying you'll give them out to people) A fellow grad is supposedly coming to visit as well...I bet SHE doesn't have roses! ::evil laugh:: 11:52 PM [link] ----------------------------------------------------------- September 2001 October 2001 November 2001 December 2001 January 2002 February 2002 March 2002 April 2002 May 2002 July 2002 August 2002 September 2002 October 2002 November 2002 December 2002 January 2003 February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 May 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 September 2005 October 2005 February 2007 home Navigation: --> me ---> blog archives ----> my friends -----> art work ------> poetry -------> writings --------> stuff for you